Presented below is a faithful recording of the events that took place between April 28 and May 4, 2006. Every single incident is true. Nothing has been made up.
April 2809:00 - Arrived at the Alm Te Monteiro to get our places on the boat.
16:00 - Boat scheduled to depart.
17:20 - Still loading cargo.
17:45 - Departed Manaus.
19:00 - Arrived at what we thought was the first port of call. In fact the boat had broken down, and we were stopped along the bank to fix the engine.
20:34 - Boat fixed and we were back underway.
20:38 - Back along the side of the river. Guess the boat isn't fixed.
20:51 - Underway again.
April 2905:00 - Tarps along the side of the boat rolled up.
06:00 - Breakfast bell. This is a guy with a large bell who does a lap around the passenger deck banging the shit out of it.
07:45 - Blaring techno starts booming out of the giant speaker on the top deck. It is the bad British popular techno. Cows on the banks of the river were scared by it.
08:30 - Observed a local guy drinking his first beer of the day.
10:25 - Spotted our first pink dolphin.
11:30 - Lunch
17:00 - Dinner... Still full from lunch...
19:50 - Bec gets hit on by a drunk guy on the roof.
19:55 - Same drunk guy moves on to hit on a mother (Muu Muu Mamma) with a three-year old and an eight-month old.
21:00 - Mom puts kids to bed and gets drunk with the guy who was hitting on her.
April 3005:20 - really loud boat horn blasts twice and we slow down.
05:25 - Horn goes again and two more people get on the boat. As if it wasn't crowded enough already.
05:40 - A really loud radio turned on by an old man. 90% of the boat is still asleep.
06:04 - Breakfast bell... I think that the guy wringing the bell is enjoying the tortured looks on our faces.
06:10 - First appearance by our new best friend Danielle, and eight year old girl. She really likes our dominoes and binoculars.
10:36 - Lunch served. Not hungry... Ate too many cookies.
12:00 - watermelon slices served. Seed spitting fight ensued between Bec and I. It took a while to get a seed out of left ear.
14:30 - Finally asked to show our tickets proving that we paid for the journey.
16:20 - I rushed to the bathroom with my first round of accelerated digestive system.
16:40 - Bec wins best two-out-of-three at dominoes.
16:55 - Dinner.
17:48 - Danielle returned with the dominoes after borrowing them. Three were missing. We were told that they went into the river...
20:10 - Muu Muu Mamma adjusts her hammock closer to and partially above mine.
21:14 - Rebecca shows the first signs of losing it when she suddenly wakes from a snooze in her hammock and says "Did you see the alligator poking its head out of the water?". It was dark and outside and she wasn't even facing the river.
May 106:15 - That breakfast bell again.
06:20 - Another round of the breakfast bell.
06:40 - Muu Muu Mamma restrings her hammock to its original position after a night of no doubt a few knees in the back. Apparently hanging your hammock 20 cm above a 6'3" guy is a bad idea.
06:51 - A crew member is wandering around the boat with a plastic horn and blowing it at people who are still sleeping.
08:40 - Danielle appears and apologizes for the lost dominoes. She asks to borrow the binoculars. Priviledges denied. She is ok with that.
09:30 - Canoe pulls up along side of the boat selling fish for 5 reis per kg... Meanwhile Bec gets caught eating the powdered drinking chocolate out of the can.
09:45 - Saw another dolphin.
10:15 - Saw macaques playing in the trees on the bank.
17:00 - Dinner.
17:45 - Arrived in Fonte Boa. Muu Muu Mamma and her kids disembark
18:45 - Met Jaime, a guy who lives in Tabatinga. We helped him out with good morning, good afternoon, and good evening in English.
19:14 - Left Fonte Boa.
21:47 - Bec gets walking in on while squatting over the toilet.
21:49 - disoriented, Bec nearly climbs into a hammock with an old Brazilian man.
22:17 - New neighbors - Romeo (age 19) and Juliet (age 29) - start having sex in their hammock.
22:27 - Sex finishes. No cuddling. Condom thrown over the side of the boat. I faked like I was asleep.
May 206:20 - Breakfast bell. The boat stopped once in the night and took on more passengers.
06:30 - Boat arrived t Jutai.
07:07 - Romeo brings Juliet breakfast in bed.
10:15 - Boat departs from Jutai.
10:50 - shots of cachaca being consumed. A 15 year old kid is pouring.
11:00 - James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" blared from a boombox amongst the hammocks.
11:30 - Lunch.
12:11 - "You're Beautiful" again.
12:38 - Large group of monkeys spotted on the bank.
12:39 - More monkeys.
12:51 - Another monkey.
16:00 - A very drunk man staggered by looking for his hammock. He sat down in the wrong one, but other passengers helped him to the correct one. I think he had too much cachaca earlier.
16:41 - Blaring Brazilian pop music being played in the middle of all the hammocks.
16:50 - "You're Beautiful" again. This song started to get very old.
22:30 - Arrived at Tonantins.
May 300:30 - Departed from Tonantins. Lots of cargo was unloaded.
02:30 - Arrived at Santo Antonio.
05:40 - departed Santo Antonio. Even more cargo unloaded along with a few passengers.
06:40 - Breakfast bell.
10:20 - Arrived at Amatura.
10:40 - I sprinted up to the top of the hill in town to buy ice cream for the two of us. It was a fabulous treat.
10:55 - Bec's red hair scares a small child on the dock so badly that he hides under the table.
11:05 - Departed Amatura
12:46 - "You're Beautiful" again. They don't even understand the lyrics.
16:00 - First can of peaches devoured in under 60 seconds.
18:20 - Dinner, leftover rice and chicken in a soup.
18:30 - Arrived Sao Paulo.
23:00 - Left Sao Paulo. More cargo off-loaded. While we were in port a stowaway was discovered and arrested by the local police.
May 406:55 - That god damn breakfast bell again. What if I don't want breakfast? It is just a hotdog bun with a bit of cheese in it anyway.
07:15 - We skipped breakfast and had muesli that we brought with us.
08:35 - Arrived at a tiny settlement called Palmares. It is a federal police station where the
search boats going downriver for drugs. We just had to check in as a formality.
08:40 - departed Palmares.
11:50 - Lunch, fish with rice.
15:25 - Watermelon seed fight round two.
17:40 - Arrived at Benjamin Constant. This is a town right across the river from Tabatinga.
17:50 - We disembarked the Alm Te Monteiro to catch a speed boat to Tabatinga.
18:15 - We got back on the boat because we missed the last speed boat across the river that night.
23:00 - Departed Benjamin Constant.
23:45 - Arrived Tabatinga.
23:50 - Disembarked the Alm Te Monteiro. Finally. We promptly went to the nicest hotel in town for hot showers with clear water and flat beds.